How can I get my mom to stop controlling my wedding?

I am recently engaged and my fiance and I have started trying to wedding plan. I want a small outdoor wedding with barbecue at the reception. This fits mine and my fiance's personalities perfectly. My mom is insistent that I get married in my childhood church so that everyone will give me gifts and not have hurt feelings and that it all be inside. She also finds it to be very tacky to have barbecue at the reception. She thinks we should could be married at mid afternoon and have mints and cake to eat. I do not like going to weddings like this so why should I plan mine like this? I know the easiest solution is pay for it myself but I do not want to take out a loan to have a wedding, even though it would only be about $5,000 which is cheap for a wedding. Is there a way to have the wedding I want without a constant argument? I just want to have a sweet romantic day with NO stress.