Am I being selfish about what my boyfriend wants?

My boyfriend of nearly 3 and a half years who is almost 32, recently brought up something to me that has me very upset. He brought up that he wants to start a band. Now although, he has musical talent, aside from playing some open mic nights years ago, he has never been in a band or expressed to me the want to be in a band up until this point. Here's a little of our history: We met and fell hard for each other. We were completely about each other. At that time we both had problems with our drinking. We were always wanting to be at bars and out having fun. 2 months into our relationship I discovered from someone aside from him that he cheated on me. It killed me. We worked through this but he continued hanging out with this girl for about a 6 month period after because I had stopped providing him with rides to bars or for beer etc. ( he lost his license from a dui ). He swore nothing was happening with this girl aside from that original kiss. I believed him and wasn't so offended because the girl is not attractive but I knew he had a desperate need to go out and drink so I knew why he was doing it. It still really hurt though. I had done so much for him. 7 months into our relationship I discovered I was pregnant. He continued his drinking. There was a point when he stopped hanging out with this girl. Within a 10 month period, he managed to accumulate 3 more dui's. A total of 4. On his 4th, he was one day thrown in jail. It was devastating to me. I was 4 months pregnant. I was under a lot of stress. I was working a very physically hard job, my boyfriend was in jail. I couldn't even get a hug from him. I went to visit him every sunday. He was devastated too. It was emotionally hard on both of us. 5 months later I had the baby with him still in jail. That was a horrible thing for me to not have him there. I will never know what it was like to have the father with me and see his face after giving birth to our baby girl. 1 month after, he gets out of jail. Continues his drinking which I said if he kept that up, i'd be gone. Months later, he got help. He was diagnosed with bi polar, put on meds that worked for him and stopped his drinking. He has been sober for a year and 8 months now. Things have still been hard on us. I feel I have put so much into the relationship and have gotten a below average one in return from him. I feel I really need a relationship that is settled down. I don't want a relationship where I have to worry anymore. If he were to start a band, where would he be playing? He'd be playing out at bars. Before this was even an issue to him, he told me he didn't want me in bars because he doesn't trust that guys wouldn't be hitting on me. I can respect that completely because I also would not be comfortable with him being in bars. I think there should be a mutual respect. Like I said, if he were to start a band, he'd be playing in bars and on intermissions he'd of course be mingling with the crowd that would i'm sure have girls that would be hitting on him and trying to buy him drinks. For some reason, he does not see it my way. He is very insistent on doing this and tells me that I'm trying to control him and that i'm trying to stop him from making anything of himself. I don't think this is anything I would ever be ok with. We are however, going to get counseling because we do both want to stay together. For us and our baby. There's a lot more detail I could add but it would go on forever. I am so confused. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.